Whenever I'm in bookstores I like to cruise through that section of the book store where they sell books about magic, self-help, women's studies, and yoga to remind myself that there are plenty of people in the world have a lot more time on their hands than I do. But yesterday I was distracted from my usual enjoyment of the "Getting in Touch With Your Inner Child Through Wicca" section by a large display case full of Chicken Soup for the Soul Books. Five long shelves, all full of different versions of Chicken Soup for the Something-or-Other's Soul.

I'd read the original book and its "Second Helping" follow-up in college and cried like the chick I am at almost every story, but I eventually decided that it might be more valuable to spend my time reading books with subject matter other than the deathbed wisdom of paraplegics battling three forms of cancer. I hadn't heard much about the books in the past few years but figured that by now there was probably a third, maybe even a fourth, addition to the series. Little did I know they now have Chicken Soup for the souls of Christians, teenagers, Christian teenagers, preteens, women, French women (Bouillon De Poulet Pour LMe Des Femmes -- should have known the French would want in on this), grandparents, country music fans, college students, pet owners and, (I'm not kidding), prisoners and NASCAR fans. (An Amazon search on the title returns 214 results.)

Based on what seems to be the current plan to shove sunshine up the collective ass of every demographic on the face of the planet, I predict that there will be a Chicken Soup book for the souls of every group of people in the world by 2004. As a service to the books' editors and to my readers, I would like to suggest the following titles to fulfill the needs of groups that have thus far been underrepresented by the Soup crew: